- We all need a reality check now and then!

Provocation of the month:

”We all need a reality check now and then!”

This reflection letter comes out of an inspirational e-mail dialog with Bill, a friend and customer. He has been risking his life every day for several years in order to help ordinary people in war zones get access to food, water and other basic things that are needed in life. Bill is doing this far away from his own family most of the time. Reality checks are a part of his everyday life.

Those of us that use Lots® for business and project development and Mindo® for individual leader development in teams, know that we spend quite some time reflecting on and analyzing our present situation. The reason we do this is because we believe in the importance of knowing where we are and why before we take actions. We will, of course, take action after we have done our reality check in order to avoid a gap between where we are and where we want to be.

The are many examples of questions we can ask ourselves privately and professionally when we do our reality check: How good are we compared to other organizations within our field? How good am I as a leader? How good am I as a team member? How good am I as an inspiration to others? How good a parent am I? How good as a life partner am I? How good am I as a friend? How do I feel most days and why? How good am I or we at learning from experiences and gaining new insights? These are examples of questions that we can ask ourselves when we want to do a reality check. We need to learn to ask the relevant questions in each one of our reality checks.

We will most likely not end up with yes or no answers to our questions. We will find that things are not black or white, even if we may think so at times. At first glance we may respond: ”Yes, I or we are so good and great at our tasks” or ”I or we are always having problems leading to our feeling bad”. We will more likely find that I or we are good at certain things and at the same time we have areas where we can improve for our own and others benefit, at work and in life in general. Our private and professional life are many times affecting each other more than we think.

Let’s make a short reality check right now. Privately and/or professionally:

How good am I as a life partner or leader or team member or parent or friend or facilitator or as a sportsman or student or the role I feel is important to me or us right now?

………………………………………………………………………………………

What can and should I/we improve?

………………………………………………………………………………………

I am convinced that we will feel better and get more constructive things done if we make our reality checks a part of our every day private and professional life. My recommendation of this month will therefore be that we get reality checks in as a part of our own reflections and in the reflections with our family, colleagues, customers and other relationships.

Don’t hesistate to contact me or any of my colleagues on www.scandinavianleadership.com if you want to find out more about how reality checks can improve your leadership and your business.

Hans

We are over 11,000 people in over 50 countries that share these reflection letters. I would love to hear more from you. Share your own reflections below. It will make my day. Feel free to be totally open. This is a forum for reflection and not only admiration.

Feel free to contact me via email: hans.akerblom@scandinavianleadership.com.

My reflections

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I call it: standing in front of a mirror and take a good, critical and loving look at yourself. Aknowledge what you know and can do and what you don't know YET and cannot do YET. And that there are many people out there who can teach you and give a hand if you can't manage it by yourself. I read once this proverb and it says it all for me: you can do everything yourself but not always on your own. So, aknowledge, reach out and help where you can and ask for help if you need it and express your thoughts and feelings. Keep communicating....in every way.....a friendly word, a smile, a word of appreciation, a compliment, a thank you or an apologise......this and more makes life so much more pleasant to live.....and therefor most productive. Take care everyone and keep loving yourself and others.

- Eline Hagenus

To each and everyone of us,there are set backs but we shift our blames to our workmates, partiners or our leaders.By accepting that none is perfect,we will learn to listen to others and solve our problems as team.United we stand but once divided,we will always fail.

- Josephat Mugi

Thank you all for all your reflections and feed back. Many of you send me e-mails and it would be great if you posted them so that all the others can read them

- Hans

Jag tycker att månadsprovokationerna är bra! Mycket bra..... Kan man läsa tidigare, gamla provokationer ? Det var en provokation i början på juni som jag speciellt är på jakt efter. Vi använde den på ett seminarium. Vi kommer att använda månadens också...reality check....superenkelt, men bra i sin enkelhet. Söndags Hälsningar

- Anders

Thank you Hans. As always your reflection letters are useful. I tried your little exercise immediately and it gave clarity. Think of that, only five minutes reflections gave clarity and brought me into the here and now. The place from which I can act.

- Torge

I often say to my son "What you give is what you get". I believe this to be very true. "What qualities do I look for in a lifepartner, best friend, collegue, businesspartner..?" "How well do I express these qualities myself?" By giving more of what I want to receive I will most certainly get a positive shift in my reality.

- Charlotte

En lite provokation då och då är mycket nyttigt! Den största utmaningen i livet är att verkligen leva efter alla de självklarheten vi alla så väl känner till!

- Maria Fahlvik

My philosophy is to shoot yesterday and tomorrow a little aside and live in the present. This increases one's mental presence and you can act upon the situation. Then, I think that tomorrow can develop better. If you do that every day, you dont have to use all your energy thinking of the past.

- Robert Lindquist

Tack för det senaste reflektionsbrevet. Intressant och tänkvärt. Jag vill också tacka dig för din inspirerande förmedling av Lots(R) till oss i vårt företag förra året. Jag har för egen del haft mycket stor nytta och glädje av Lots(R) sedan dess och är nu en ivrig förespråkare!

- Göran

Thank you, Hans! your letters come and make me think, and occasionally help to look at things from a different angle and move further. we all do need a reality check, and particularly nowadays when reality so often gets surreal. to establish your own universe and to make it stable through understanding that your values and truth are shared, that you're not alone.

- Tatjana

Yes, thank you very much Hans. How much do you think we should include in our reality? Are we all ONE, and how should we then react when things happen in Japan or Libya? Nature or crazy leader...

- Boo

Thank you all for your respons. Yes, John, it takes a lot of guts to face reality sometimes. At the same time, what is our alternative? To live with a misconception and project everything onto others? I think we need to do what you suggest John, meet our fears and state our truth and accept when we went wrong in our conclusions and actions.

- Hans

I need a truth to relate to. My own truth. I know Hans that I need to see things in another perspective and I try to. Not always that easy. Thank you for your provocations.

- Marianne

I sometimes get so angry and later on I realize that I was a part of the situation I did not like. It is seldom one part who is responsible for a conflict.

- Susan

We sometimes have a tendency to avoid dealing with deviations right now and then we let them develop to severe gaps between our wished and real realities.

- Roger

Reality is what occurs every day. We can ignore it or run away from it, but it is still present. If we are to live our lives and be true to ourselves we must have the courage to face this reality. Most times this takes humilty to do it. To recognize that we cannot hide from this and must change to deal with it means confronting our fears and be present with this reality.

- John Dunnigan

Reflections